


Between The City Walls of Dyin' Dreams

by bluestargirl6 (pressdbtwnpages)



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-14
Updated: 2005-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-04 14:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pressdbtwnpages/pseuds/bluestargirl6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>By the time you're 12 and move to Neptune you've stopped telling the truth at all.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Between The City Walls of Dyin' Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Set during 1x22. Inspired partly by the novel _Satellite Down_ by Rob Thomas.

Logan tells the truth about why his father's People's Choice Award is chipped. It is the last truth he tells.

Honesty is cute when you're six. It is less cute at age 10. By the time you're 12 and move to Neptune you've stopped telling the truth at all.

Lies are not a lot better than the truth. Sometimes they work but mostly they don't and it takes you a long time to figure out how to tell a good lie.

The best answers, you learn right about the time your girlfriend's head is bashed in with an ashtray, are the ones that combine truth and lies and something so shocking no one dares push further.

Lilly's death is a good time to learn this because people are able and willing, down right eager in fact, to attribute your new less-than-charming behavior to the tragedy you've endured. It's weird hearing it be called a tragedy. She was your girlfriend. She was hot and funny and feisty and good in bed. You think you love her, now, but are pretty sure you didn't when she was alive. When she was alive Lilly was cheating on you and screaming at you for looking at other girls. You miss her and think it sucks that she's dead, but it's not tragic.

Tragedy is what happens to the Kane family. How they sort of implode and go all soft around the edges. Tragedy is Veronica losing her best friend, her mom, and the rest of her friends in a matter of months. Tragedy is not Lilly Kane. It's not you either.

If you hadn't learned from your father's belt and sixteen stitches when you were 11 that honesty is never the best policy, you might be a better person. If you had learned from your sister and parents and Lilly that lying doesn't pay you might not be so alone right now.

If any of those damn lessons had stuck life would be a little better. It's too bad you have a heart or soul or conscious or whatever it is that lets you fall into Veronica's arms the night you realizes your mother is dead. And the afternoon you race off to rescue Veronica and she kisses you. Or the week you learn that lies are overrated as you watch Veronica uncover her truths.

Veronica Mars. You'd like to blame her. Do blame her. For a lot of things. She's your scapegoat as much as you're hers, only Veronica's a bit more mature about the whole thing. Maybe because she's a girl.

She's not standing on the edge of a bridge, trying to imitate her mother. No, instead she's accusing innocent people of murdering Lilly Kane and taking her father's path. You two really are a terrible combination.

And yet…

But there's really no 'and yet…' because Veronica's father chased you down the beach as if you were a diseased sea bird. Veronica stood and watched. Five hours after your break-up, eight after your arrest and betrayal, you're ready to forgive and forget, because damn. What else could she possibly do to you and she's the only one that will have you, have all of you, anyway.

Walking down the beach, away from Veronica, you realize that there isn't going to be a happy ending.

It's funny, in one of those not funny ways, but you still had hope until Keith Mars showed up. You could see some theoretical light at the end of the tunnel.

But Keith was genuinely scared for his daughter to be in your presence. And that stung. More than Veronica's not leaping to your defense stings.

And walking away, you know you and Veronica are done before you ever really got started.

You aren't built for secrecy and she's not designed to lie. Not long term. You two would make a lousy Romeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet weren't all that good at it themselves.

And you're unwilling to go back to the way things were. It takes to much energy to hate Veronica Mars. You aren't going to sit in classes and pine for her. You have some sense of decorum, thanks Mom and Dad.

You hear the roar of the motorcycles and see the gleam of their headlights and know you're going to get beaten and betrayed again. It's hard to know who to blame anymore, you or Veronica or Lilly and assigning blame isn't helping much anymore.

"What could you possibly do to me?" You ask and you genuinely want to know, because ever since your mom died the only person who can punish you is you.


End file.
